Everyone wants to find the perfect person to be their lifelong partner. It means you’ll head to community events and sign up for online dating sites to meet new people. It’s great to figure out what you like and dislike by going out on together, but you’ll also get plenty of opinions from other people.
Friends and family who mean well will try to help you out along the way. They may give you advice and recommend what you should do to impress your potential SO. Sometimes their suggestions are useful, but other times you can politely reject the advice that doesn’t help – and there’s a lot of it.
Here are the top five pieces of dating advice that are best to ignore. After you figure out how to weed out the bad stuff, you’ll experience better first impressions and second dates.
1. Give Every Date a Try
If you rarely go out on dates, someone has probably pulled you aside and encouraged you to give more people a try. Maybe they mentioned you have strict expectations or need to loosen up, but that isn’t always the case.
It’s good to meet new people who have a different background than you, but that doesn’t mean that meeting everyone is an effective use of your time. You may become more discouraged and decide to settle, rather than go on a few more dates and potentially find your other half.
2. Go Big or Go Home
People like to tell men to go big or go home when it comes to dating. You’re supposed to take your date out to an expensive restaurant, gift them pricy flowers or otherwise show that you’re interested by spending tons of money. A few people may find this impressive, but it’s mostly overwhelming for those who want to get to know you.
A better idea is to approach each date with a laid-back, respectful mindset. Get dressed up a bit and freshen up your look, but go somewhere with a comfortable atmosphere and prices that aren’t astronomical.
3. Keep It Casual
The first time you message a potential new partner, it’s nerve-wracking. You may feel tempted to send a quick “what’s up?” It isn’t demanding, but it can also come across as someone looking for a one-night stand if you send it late in the evening.
Avoid making that impression and keep your greeting casual with a cute one-liner or a comment about the person’s interests listed in their dating profile.
4. Put Everything on the Table
Once you wade through the usual small talk, you wonder when you should let your date know more about yourself. Do you tell them upfront about the skeletons in your closet or the challenging parts of your life?
People may say to put everything on the table, but not on the first date. Give the relationship time to develop. Once you think it’ll be a long-term situation, you can start getting more personal.
5. Watch the Clock
You never want to seem super pushy after a date, which is why people recommend specific waiting periods. “Wait two days until reaching back out to your date, and don’t text them too quickly.” It’s a game that involves watching the clock, and you should avoid it if you want something serious.
Your date is just as nervous as you when you leave. If the person you’re interested in agrees they’re ready for a long-term relationship, they don’t want to play games. Text them about how much you enjoyed the date and when you can see them again.
Playing hard to get may work in high school, but adults want to know where your heart is and if you’ll get together soon. As long as you’re sweet and not pushy, the right people ready for a relationship will respond well to a post-date text.
Go With Your Gut
People mean well when they give you dating advice, but that doesn’t mean it’s always the right thing to follow. Go with your gut and ignore outdated dating advice. Text your date back, set your standards and keep things light until they become more serious.
You’ll find the right person and have a great time searching.